Expectations

I’m so excited that we’ll arrive “home” to Los Angeles again today, that I don’t get a wink of sleep.

Exhausted, with my head on my pillow, I impatiently look out the window and wait for the sunrise to peek over the Orocopia mountains and light up the mountains of Joshua Tree National park on the opposite side of the valley, before starting the morning routine and rousing the troops for the amazing day ahead of us.

Although our home is technically attached to and follows our car, Los Angeles has been our home for the previous 12 years, and it is where my heart has planted its flag permanently. Today will be the final day of our hard pressed journey, started four days ago from Florida, and nearly six months ago when we sold our children’s home and left California.

I’ve got a lot of plans for today, and the rest of the week while we are in town, and I’m excited to get started.

The boat is reserved in the afternoon so we’re definitely going sailing. I’ve had it reserved for months, with the last sailing trip canceled due to weather. After sailing, we’ll get together with friends to watch the fireworks in the harbor in the evening. We’ll be staying in the mountains while we’re here, so I’m going to be able to go hiking every day again, something that I’ve been unable to do and missing since we left California. And of course we’ll also get to go to the beach.

But going sailing tonight was the whole point of us driving from morning until night for the last four days, so that we can make it in time for new year’s fireworks, and so that the following morning we can go on a cruise to the island of Catalina. Catalina which with the rest of the chain of Channel Islands, and much like the island of Manitoulin, has a magical quality to it that relieves all my anxieties, and fills my heart with joy and peace.

Before we could go sailing, we had a long day ahead of us, starting with dropping the trailer off at Leo Carillo State Park, on the West side of Malibu. The park was 200 miles away, giving us four hours to get there. We would then spend an hour setting up. camp, and have an hour to make it to the boat. It’s a tight schedule and we might not even have time for lunch.

Let’s go!

“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

— Proverbs 16:9

As soon as we got on the road, a fog rolled in, a premonition of the day ahead.

As we made our way, the rain started, a surprise as it was not forecast until much later. First a drop at a time, then a few, eventually turning into constant, unrelenting rain. The sound of every drop on the windshield adding to the crushing weight of disappointment against the hope for the day’s plans.

Still with delusions of a break in weather near the ocean, we pressed on in silence, disappointment growing with each mile, with its heaviness making it impossible to talk.

When we got to the park, the rain did break. Our site was pretty difficult to park in, on account of a small road half blocked by two other trailers making it challenging in our ability to turn in. Noticing that we didn’t have sewer hookup at the site, and so as to only have to set up camp once, we first took the trailer to the dump station and to refill our water tanks.

Being practiced in the dumping procedure it went smoothly, and quickly. Then we were stuck. Blocking the way was a schoolie that followed us up the Pacific Highway all the way to the park. It seemed an eternity for them to finish filling their two giant sixty gallon water barrels, before we could take our turn at the potable water spigot.

Eventually we got our turn, and parked the trailer in our spot for the week. With all of these camp setup complications, we were now delayed by two hours. Still we pressed on. We disconnected the car and rushed for the marina, hoping that the break in weather will hold for just a little bit longer. It did hold, until I put the car in park, and opened the door.

That first drop, was the last one needed to crush what remained of my spirit.

Tired, miserable, wet, cold, despondent, we sat on the boat in silence for an hour.

Our friends texted if we would join them for a quiet dinner. We could even stay the night. How inconsiderate would it be to bring this cloud of misery into somebody’s home.

What was the fucking point?

We should just put our tails between our legs and go back to the trailer, and forget this miserable year.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Feeling sorry for ourselves, to get ready for the trip back to the trailer, we held hands and umbrellas, and walked the dog in the rain, through the marina’s Burton Chase park.

This park is always ground zero for all of the marina fireworks celebrations, and this time was no different. It was lit up, and prepared for the night’s activities with DJ booth, and laser lights, the same as it has been ever year. The one exception was that this time instead of the park being packed full of new year’s revelers, there was only a single family determined to celebrate the new year, huddled under a tarp, dancing and cooking on the grill, claiming from their pick of the best viewing spots for the scheduled fireworks show.

Undeterred by miserable conditions, this family somehow found a silver lining and were having the best time of their lives simply by being with each other and getting the best viewing spot of the night.

This family is the fucking point.

We’ll be over in an hour!